The guys who post photos of themselves with a tiger.
Not Tiger Woods.
A real tiger.
Maybe I don’t lead a very charmed life, but I can’t image where I would be in the presence of a tiger. I will admit that I’m SUPREMELY jealous of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, who gets to pet and nuzzle Raja. But where do these guys go to hang out with a tiger?
Do you go to a zoo? A rescue organization? Africa? Mike Tyson’s house?
I understand that tigers represent strength. Their blood is supposed to be magical. Their teeth are sharper than a brand new Ginsu. They’re quick. They’re smooth. They’re sexy. I suppose it makes sense that Tinder weirdos want chicks to associate them with a powerful sexy beast.
Except then the next photo is a shirtless selfie of you pursing your lips so you’ve ruined everything.