11 Lessons I Learned Over The Holiday

1) I’m totes moving to Turks & Caicos.

Byeeeee Los Angeles.

2) New obsession…PIANO BARS!!!

There’s something about those musicians….

3) Souvenir shot glasses are way rad…until you remember that you have to stuff 12,000 pieces of glassware in your suitcase without breaking them.

Crap. This seemed like a good idea during dinner.

4) Zip-lining is the SHIZNIT….especially when you have perfect form.

Tree, meet crotch. Crotch, meet tree.

5) Towel animals are also the SHIZNIT….until you walk in to your room and have a f*cking heart attack cuz it looks like the staff hung a mummy from your ceiling.

Aww, that’s cute!

Aww, that’s SUPER CUTE!

HOLY F***ING SH*T, WTF IS THAT?!?!?

6) Sibling selfies are way rad.

Hey, let’s take another blurry/poorly-framed one over here!

7) Puerto Rican kitties are stunning.

Meow. I know I’m gorgeous. Move along, stupid American girl.

8) In Nassau, please do not solicit, hawk, and especially do not loaf.

Yeah, you loafers, they’re talking to you.

9) Pointless foot selfies are….well….pointless.

Hey, look, my feet in front of a sky! Simply groundbreaking.

10) Johnnie Walker Black is my favorite man on earth.

He’s a seductive sexy beast.

11) If I ever join an online dating service, I know what to tell potential suitors.

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2 thoughts on “11 Lessons I Learned Over The Holiday

  1. Hi,
    Love your Bengal song…it’s super cute! Just found your blog thru Marcy Very Much. I also have a crazy kitty who I never saw sleep for the first 6 months of her life…she just ran around my house playing. Now she’s quited down a bit, but not by much. 🙂 That’s really sweet but sad that you go her from a hoarder…all of my kitties are rescues too. One I was just supposed to be fostering (like you) but i couldn’t let her go in the end. Anyway, nice chatting with you. Keep in touch!
    – Merrie @ http://www.PetiteCareerGirl.com

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