Pouting In Sweatpants

Sweatpants

Pouting in sweatpants
Is what I’m gonna do
I’ve got a broken ankle
In anger I shall stew.

Pouting in sweatpants
Not as fun as it sounds
Cuz I drop my crutches
Then I’m crying on the ground.

Pouting in sweatpants
Cuz everything’s a bore
And hobbling across the room
Is a huge f*cking chore.

Pouting in sweatpants
When I’m feeling a lil chubby
I haven’t washed my hair
And my socks are looking grubby.

Pouting in sweatpants
I really want to clean
But sitting here like a loaf
Is making me kinda mean.

Pouting in sweatpants
And I need a friggin drink
Forgot to get  groceries
And the boot is starting to stink.

Pouting in sweatpants
This bone better heal
Very friggin quickly
Cuz I can’t really deal.

Pouting in sweatpants
For now I think I’ll snooze
And for the love of Buddha
SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME BOOZE.

Grouchily yours,
KimmyTron

Now Watch This: Battle Of The Ads

I recently had a conversation with a friend that went something like this:

Friend: OMG I love this commercial.

Me: Which one?

Friend: The one with the cute guy in the suit. He’s sitting with kindergarten kids, and that adorable little girl competes for Cutest Kid.

Me: Oh yeah! T-mobile.

Friend: No, it’s AT&T.

Me: You sure? I’m pretty sure it’s T-mobile.

Friend: Actually, I’m not sure.

Me: Me neither. Let’s get whiskey.

Yes, please.

I pondered this exchange for a couple of days. I found it interesting that we both adored the commercial but couldn’t easily recall the service being advertised.

In today’s vortex of advertisement overload, it’s difficult to cut through the clutter and get your product or service noticed. Companies sink lots of time, money, and resources into making sure their message reaches your eyeballs and eardrums. But if I can’t remember what you are advertising, does it really matter if I loved the commercial?

Hmmm.

Then there’s ads that I’m absolutely obsessed with. These are my top 3 favorites of all time.

Free Credit Report:

Education Connection:

Juicy Fruit:

But…this also raises a good question. Even though I die for these commercials, have I ever visited freecreditreport.com or educationconnection.com? No. Do I ever chew Juicy Fruit? Hell no.

If I wanted a free credit report, I’d email my mom’s accountant for a favor. If I wanted info about a crappy education, I’d go to ITTtech.com. If I wanted gross gum that loses its flavor after 2 seconds, I’d grab a pack of Big Red.

So even if your ad cuts through the clutter and I love your commercial, have you really won the battle? I suppose you could argue that you’re creating “brand recognition” and maybe one day, I’ll purchase your icky chemical chew or useless credit services because you’re “top of mind.” And who knows…maybe I will.

But for now, unless your ad features cats, Christina Hendricks, or a catchy jingle, I’m tuning out.