All Hail Queen Bengal

Bengals are beautiful cats. They’re hyper, vocal, and absolutely crazy. And I love mine.

She was rescued from a hoarder.  I welcomed her into my home , intending to just foster her for a day or two.

That plan failed.

How could I give her away? She and I have so much in common.

She likes gossip.

She likes to read.

She likes being wrapped up in blankets.

She likes taking selfies.

She likes to sleep.

And being the egotistical maniac that she is, she insisted that I write a song about her.

So here is my ode to you, darling Bengal.

Introducing The Perfect Man…Beefcake Mancat

Look, I promise, I’m not a cliche,
I know I’m kinda crazy, and all my guy friends are gay.

I like bad TV, like Housewives of Orange Skin,
And I eat too much ice cream so I’ll never be thin.

I have too many cats, and I spend lots of time alone,
And I play Bejeweled Blitz from the comfort of my phone.

But its ok, I’m happy, I found the perfect man,
He’s very, very handsome and eats food from a can.

His name is Beefcake Mancat and he’s perfect in every way,
He lives inside my house, though once he was a stray.

His pecs are solid, his biceps are buff,
And even though he purrs, he’s still pretty tough.

He’s compact and lean, and fits in a bag,
But he dresses like a jock and his jeans still sag.

His eyes are so earnest, so soulful and green,
His 6 pack is impeccable, and his deltoids glean.

He’s a great listener and he never talks back,
But he sheds like a motherf*cker so you can never wear black.

He either smells like litter, or overpriced clothes,
So go kiss his muscles, or his little wet nose.