Time for a pop quiz. Grab your #2 pencil. I want to know if I’m:
A) Pleasantly Neurotic
B) Absolutely Insane
C) Lil bit of A, Lil bit of B
A few weeks ago, Ershley and I were enjoying a nice cocktail at our usual weekday stomping grounds, St Felix Hollywood, when a gentleman overheard our conversation about college promiscuity, and asked if he could join us. Being two loud/ slightly intoxicated/ single girls, we love meeting new people so we said “sure!” The gentleman sat down and we made small talk. He’s a psychologist and proceeded to pretty much give me a free session. The session ended with him concluding, “I can’t decide if you are fun…or really crazy.”
At first, I took this as a compliment. I laughed about it for a few days. Then I got to thinking about the reasoning behind his diagnosis. I admit, I feel like some of my neuroses are abnormal. I used to chalk up my idiosyncrasies to being a Virgo. But the older I get and the more I analyze my behaviors, the more I wonder if I am nuts.
Case in point:
1) When I’m doing laundry, I have to wait until the water gushes in before dropping the detergent in. If the detergent gets in first, I’m convinced my clothes will be forever tainted with icky oozy goo and I’ll live the rest of my life looking like Venkman when he gets slimed in the hotel hallway.
2) When I’m preparing my coffee in the morning, I have to put the creamer in first. If the sugar goes in first, I’m pretty sure my yummy java will morph into caffeinated poison.
3) I can’t possibly take a shower if there’s a spot of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror. Windex is my best friend.
4) I’m absolutely terrified of taking my recycling into the garbage room in my building. The doors are very heavy and shut quickly behind you. I have to stick one foot in the door so it won’t close, and toss my recycling into the bins from the safety of the doorway. For some reason I feel like I’ll get locked in there and die a slow quiet smelly death. Rats won’t even want to nibble at my decomposed corpse.
5) I really hate putting on my shoes. Most mornings, I’ll stuff my feet halfway into my Chuck Taylors, and not bother to actually tie my shoes until I’m at Coffee Bean, or on bad days, until my lunch break.
6) If the dishes aren’t perfectly arranged in the dishwasher, I’m fairly certain they won’t get clean.
7) When I consume too much caffeine, I enter a “donation” frenzy and end up with bags and bags of clothes, books, and items to donate. Last year I went overboard and left my dresser with no socks and one pair of pants.
8) I’ve started Facebooking while going for a run <I’m kind of ashamed of this one. Damn you, Zuck.> I clearly cannot wait 5 miles to know if someone commented on my last post.
9) If I’m driving, I try not to make lefthand turns after 8pm, if possible. Don’t ask.
So perhaps the answer to this quiz is subjective. All I know is I need to go rearrange my refrigerator.